Once you're behind in the cash flow dept. it's impossible to catch up. The drowning feeling that comes with debt, is one of the worst, but the guilt when you're the one bringing down the team definitely surpasses it. I have pretty much curbed the shopaholic in me, but I waited until it was too late. I do not make a heap of cash. I have accumulated a fair amount of debt over the years, and am finding it near impossible to get out. We are getting a new window in our bedroom, & my husband had me put my half of the $ in an envelope which he hid. He knows me very well, & figured this was the best way to ensure I didn't spend it. Unfortunately, something happened & he had to tell me where it was hidden. I have gradually taken about 1/3 of it out (to buy stuff for the house, or formula, or groceries). Anyways, he looked in the envelope today, before I had a chance to put it back. I was so ashamed. As soon as I saw him with the envelope in his hand, my stomach dropped & I swear I almost threw up. After hearing my explanation, he went to put the envelope back, stopped & instead put it in his pocket. It is a shitty feeling when your husband doesn't trust you, and is completely justified in it.
I changed into my stretch pants & went to the valley. After running the stairs with a gf, I've come up with a plan. I am going to hand over financial control to my husband. Wish me luck. This is going to be a big adjustment, but I think it will really help. Something here needs to change.
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